On Retirement, Treasures, and Grief

I retired from full time pastoral ministry on April 27, 2025.  My first assignment as a church staff member was in fall 1980, so my retirement was in my 45th year of ministry.  Much reflection. I don't know how people go through the painful times without a community of faith around them. God has been so good to let me be on the front row of so many stories--incredible young men and women who emerged from student ministry, seminary classrooms, and finally pastoral ministry.  They are men and women who continue to do great things as they are yielded to God's unfolding plan in their lives.  

One retirement project is that we (Judi and I) are in a season where we are trying to clear out unnecessary clutter. When you have lived a life as rich as I have, clutter is relative--everything has a story. Every treasure that I find brings back a mental photograph of a time with a friend, a former student, a movement of God that was unusual and extraordinary in that moment. One treasure was particularly poignant as Judi found it on the second anniversary of Aaron's death. It was an anonymous poem tucked away in a box of old pictures. I will let it speak on my behalf.  

GOD'S LENT CHILD

"I'll lend you for a little while

A child of mine," God said--

"For you to love the while he lives And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years Or forty-two or three;

But will you, till I call him back

Take of him for me

He'll bring his charms to gladden you

And--(should his stay be brief)

You'll have his lovely memories

As a solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, And try to understand.

But there are lessons taught below

I want this child to learn. l've looked the whole world over

In my search for teachers true;

And from the things that crowd life's lane

I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love?

Nor think the labor vain?

Nor hate me when I come to take This lent child back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say--

"Dear Lord, Thy will be done.

For all the love Thy child will bring

The risk of grief we'll run.

We will shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may--And for the happiness we've know

Forever grateful stay.

But should thy angels call for him

Much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes

And try to understand."

Unknown Author

 On the Psalms of Ascents and Holy Week

One of my favorite books of all time is my well-worn copy of Eugene Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. He depicts the journey of the Jewish Pilgrim–he even suggests families traveling together–to the three religious or “pilgrim” feasts in Jerusalem (Passover, Pentecost, Tabernacles). Psalms 120-134 are known as the Songs of Ascents. Because Jerusalem is almost 2500 feet above sea level, much of the journey was “going up.”  Ultimately, the pilgrims physically ascended Mount Zion to Jerusalem and finally to the Temple to worship. 

The Pilgrim begins his journey far from God, far from Jerusalem, far from the Temple. Psalm 120 is a lament, a cry of distress. He feels distant from his Creator, and he cries in distress. Psalms 121–my favorite–causes me to imagine a father instructing his children as (in Peterson’s description), they look to the hills where pagan sacrifices are being offered and rhetorically asks where his family’s help comes from. He answers his own question (perhaps for the benefit of his children) and then speaks specifically about God’s protection. In Psalm 122, he looks at a different hill–Mt. Zion–and declares his trust and hope. The next three read like a prayer journal: Psalm 123 is a prayer for mercy, Psalm 124 is thanksgiving for deliverance (help) and 125 is adoration, affirmation that God provides, protects, and blesses. 

As the pilgrim gets closer the joy increases: I can hear him shout of the great things Yahweh has done (126) and in Psalm 127, the destination seems to be in sight as the family arrives for worship. It is about the Temple and is authored by Solomon who built it. The poetry turns from the Temple to the home in Psalm 128–perhaps the dad is overwhelmed with gratitude that his family is there for worship and he expresses joy for what we call discipleship.

Psalms 129 and 130  back away to a more global plea that God would help (129) and redeem and restore Israel (130)–maybe reminding me to continue to pray for our nation and for the nations. Psalm 130 is one of the seven major penitential psalms.

Psalm 131 is a prayer of humility, trust and childlike surrender. The father models for his children that he is resting in God with a soul at peace, even as they journey on. Psalms 132 expresses trust in God’s plan for His people (and for this family?)  and 133 makes me think of seeing other pilgrim families as they all arrive at the Temple to worship. Psalm 134 closes the collection with a call to worship and an expression of gratitude for those who serve. 

Holy Week is our pilgrimage. We pray that families are on a spiritual journey to worship on Easter. Palm Sunday speaks of the triumphal entry into Jerusalem and the fickle affections of the crowds (and us).  Maundy Thursday recalls the meal Jesus had with His disciples as He tried to prepare them for a new paradigm of salvation–one that involved His death, burial, resurrection and return.  Good Friday is a sobering reminder of the extent of the suffering–the price for our sins. Easter–resurrection day–is like the families have arrived to celebrate that the story didn’t end with a trial or torture or a tomb, but with the glorious message that our crucified Savior has risen indeed. Let’s put on our best, get the kids in the car and journey to church on Sunday to “lift up our hands to the Sanctuary and bless the Lord.” (134:2). 

On Raising Up a Joshua

Last Sunday in church, I preached my third-to-last Sunday as full time pastor of Dunwoody Baptist Church. In the church was my mentor of half a century. Dennis Rogers identified something in me when I was in high school and challenged me to develop it. In high school, I preached my first sermon. In high school, I served on a pastor search committee. He allowed me to volunteer with students when I was home from college on breaks or summers that I came home. We met at a Mexican restaurant in Stone Mountain every week. He challenged me to make a difference in college. Dennis took me (literally, in the car) to New Orleans to meet professors and apply to seminary. And I was not the only “Joshua” that Dennis raised up.

In Gen 15, Abraham is promised that his descendants will inherit the promised land. This promise is fulfilled not by Moses, but by his protégé, Joshua son of Nun from the tribe of Ephraim. Joshua shows up in one of my favorite (and quirky) episodes in Exodus 17 where Joshua is appointed as field commander of the army of Israel when the Amalekites attack them. The quirky part is that Moses stood on a hill with his arms supported by his brother and his (maybe) brother-in-law while Joshua won the battle.

From the beginning of their relationship, Moses let Joshua try things, lead things, learn things. Moses encouraged and nurtured him to follow God’ teachings, accomplish God’s plans, and join him (in protecting the people from themselves and moving them towards the promised land. Moses corrected  Joshua twice applying wisdom and knowledge. Near the end of Moses’ story, God tells Moses that it is time for him to die, and that Joshua, “a man with spirit” would be his successor. 

Although he is to share the power with the high priest Eleazar, Joshua will be the one to lead the Israelites into Canaan and conquer the land. Joshua’s story ends with his death and burial, some eight decades later (Joshua  24:29-30). Joshua succeeded in leading Israel into the Promised Land, but he didn’t raise up a Joshua to follow him.  Within a very short period of time, lacking in leadership and in a culture that was hostile to the ways of Yahweh, “everyone did what was right in their own eyes.” 

I wish the story had ended differently. I wish Joshua would have identified, trained, encouraged, poured into a successor like Dennis poured into me. As I approach retirement, I pray that I have raised up a team who will lead DBC well, but will also lead well wherever else they serve in the future. I am also convicted that I have a little Joshua to raise up in Texas.  I pray that God will grant me the wisdom and opportunity to pour into my grandson as he begins to understand the ways of God and the ways of the world. He has a great mom, a great community, an incredibly sharp mind and a tender heart.  

May we all have the courage to raise up a Joshua.

On the Holy Spirit and DBC

 A Prayer for DBC

God as we prepare to take communion, we have been reminded that Your Spirit in us produces character traits that make us more like Jesus. Many of us learned the Fruit of the Spirit as a list, a rhyme, or a children’s song. But You meant it to be so much more. You meant it to be a description in terms a human could put on paper of the richness You intend to invest in us. You meant it to be a gold standard of good qualities that You produce to compare with a list of bad decisions we make on our own. 

Thank you that You care for us. You have placed us a little lower than the angels, have filled us with Your power and Your glory. You put us here to care for Your creation and to establish relationships with other people and to work productively for the good of our homes, church, community and world. You have shown Yourself in amazing ways here at DBC and we thank You. You are present among us still in the Person of the Holy Spirit. Thank you that You comfort, encourage and guide us. Thank You–painfully–that You rebuke, admonish, and correct us. 

God forgive me when I–when we--reduce this mighty work of Your Spirit to a list of self-improvement goals. I bow before you in worship and thanks that You choose to work this way through us. As the Spirit works in us, we want to see growth in all these areas. Love AND joy AND peace AND patience AND kindness AND goodness AND faithfulness AND gentleness AND self-control. 

You wish for us to love as You loved us, sacrificially and without regard to a person’s appearance or background. You love us so much that You sent Jesus. You love us even though we can’t stop making bad choices. You love us yesterday, today, and forever. May we be filled with such love that seems to fertilize all the other fruit of Your Spirit.

You wish to fill us with joy, the inner contentment that does not depend on circumstance, but allows us to see some things as You see them. You showed such joy in your laughter with Your followers and with those whom You healed. You desire for us a joy that is not dependent on circumstance but on the presence of Your Spirit in us, giving us a quiet confidence that You are working in us for our good and Your glory. 

You wish for us to have peace, a deep inner tranquility that is beyond the comprehension of many around us. You demonstrated such peace, even as you were misunderstood, persecuted, and crucified because You had such confidence in the sovereign plan of the Father.

You want us to have patience in other people, in ourselves, in the timetable of Your plans for us and for our church. You modeled such patience with children, with persons with challenges, and with us. May we be patient when we are cut off in traffic, when we are misunderstood at work, and when we think You should do this or that in our world. Jesus, come quickly, but let us have patience and understanding as You delay in order to invite more people into Your Kingdom. 

You desire for to be kind as You were kind and to embrace that it is Your kindness that led us to repentance. Your kindness drew unlikely skeptics to Yourself, some who eventually believed and some who did not. Your kindness tolerated people who did not, do not and will not allow Your love to break through to have one more chance, two more chances, hundreds more chances to repent from sin and follow You in obedience, worship, and community.

You are a good God and Your Son is the Good Shepherd and goodness and generosity is what You desire for us. We pray to be filled with it. We pray that as we are filled, we would reflect Your goodness as we relate to those around us. 

You have been faithful through the ages and you are faithful now. You will be faithful to complete the good work You began in us.  We pray for that faithfulness to be in us as we relate to You and to the people around us–both those whom we love and those whom we are learning to love.

You wish for us to have the controlled strength that is called gentleness, so that we can face adversity and challenge even as our Savior faced the trials that led to His earthly death. You said we were blessed if we were meek, that we would inherit the earth. You want to fill us with humility and gentleness, not thirsting for power, but for righteousness and that as strange as it seems, we would see You at work. 

Perhaps hardest to pray honestly that we would receive is self-control. We enjoy our temper tantrums, but we read of the self-control that You showed as Satan tempted You in the wilderness. You remained on the cross because it was the Father’s plan. You did not lose Your temper with the slowness of Your followers then and now to understand what You came to earth to do. You put up with our questions and our self-righteousness and our reluctance to do the next right thing. May we be self-controlled because Your Sprit controls us, and to understand that as we give up control, we yield to Your control. 

Father, we know that the ways of the world will always present us with tempting, and sometimes very convincing, counterfeits to this Fruit of Your Spirit. We know in our heads that this fake fruit will leave us empty. Fill us with each of these fruits. Cultivate them, let them build on one another. Let them ripen to the point that they bring love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control to a world that desperately needs them. May they produce in us a deeper love for Your kingdom and for the souls that You love so deeply. 

We want to make a difference in our families, influence our communities, and provide hope for our world. We know that as You fill us with these character qualities we will become better people, but better is such a small goal when what You desire is that we become like Your Son. May we be passionately more like Jesus. May we empty ourselves so You can fill us with the Fruit of the Spirit so that we can be instruments of change. May we be filled with the Spirit so that our words to “Love God, Love People, Make Disciples, and Make a Difference” can be much more than words. May we see Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. May Your will be done.

May we be wise with our time, our talents, our resources. May we welcome our new pastor because he is the one whom You sent to lead us and teach us. May we see greater things because You promised that we would. May persons who are trying to decide what to do with You jump in with both feet, acknowledging You as Lord and Savior. May our baptistery be filled, our ego be emptied and our worship be pleasing to You. As we take this Holy Communion, may it remind us of the ultimate demonstration of love that You expressed by sending Your only Son to provide a forgiveness for our sins so that we can even have this conversation with You. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit

Amen

On Troubled Hearts

On Troubled Hearts

One of the most famous interactions that Jesus had with His disciples was on the last night that He was alive on earth prior to the crucifixion. The setting is in the Upper Room, where Jesus gives his “farewell address”  at his last supper with his disciples. He has

• washed his disciples’ feet and has explained to them what this means (13:1-20). 

• said that Judas would betray Him and Judas has slipped out into the night (13:21-30).

• told his disciples that he will be with them only a little while longer, and that where he is going, they cannot come (13:33).

• predicted Peter’s imminent denial (13:36-38).

So I understand why the disciples are “troubled” (which I think is a massive understatement–I think they were coming unglued). Jesus is leaving, Judas is off to the Jewish authorities to rat out their location and their spokesperson is going to bail. So Jesus says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me” (14:1). He calls them back to their relationship and assures that He is not abandoning them.As He speaks of His ascension to the Father, Jesus assures his disciples that this is also their destination.  But His illustration is fascinating to me. 

WARNING: SANCTIFIED IMAGINATION

Jesus says there are many rooms in his Father’s house, and He goes to prepare a place for them, so that they will be with him and dwell with him in his intimate relationship with the Father (14:2-3). Multiple sources describe the custom among first century Jews of the bride joining the groom’s family. Literally, not just symbolically. They would move in.

After the proposal (or rather the brokering of the betrothal) the groom begins to prepare a bridal chamber. He is building an addition–a room–on his father’s house. This process traditionally took a year or more (the length of time being dictated by the groom’s father). When the place was complete, the groom would return and fetch his bride. The bride would not know the day or hour of her fiancee’s return–it depended on the father’s timing–but the groom’s arrival was usually announced with a trumpet call and a shout so the bride had some forewarning. She would then proceed–some legends say that the groom’s attendants would carry her on her bed through the village to the house of the groom’s father where the wedding would take place. The wedding itself (mostly family in attendance) transitioned to the wedding feast (attended by much larger numbers) which could a night, a week or more. The transition was marked by the bride and the groom entering into the room that the groom had built to consummate their marriage.

The biblical references are amazing to me. The Parable of the Ten Virgins (Matthew 25) seems to reference the groom going to get the bride per the custom. D.A. Carson in the Expositor’s Bible Commentary describes the setting this way: “Normally the bridegroom with some close friends left his home to go to the bride’s home, where there were various ceremonies, followed by a procession through the streets – after nightfall – to his home. The ten virgins may be bridesmaids who have been assisting the bride; and they expect to meet the groom as he comes from the bride’s house…Everyone in the procession was expected to carry his or her own torch (a stick with a rag or an oil lamp). Those without a torch would be assumed to be party crashers or even brigands. The festivities, which might last several days, would formally get under way at the groom’s house.”

Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding feast in Cana (John 2) so the celebration is both endorsed and facilitated with miracle. But the most impacting comparison to me is that Jesus is the groom, the bride is the church.  He will one day come back for His bride (1 Thess 4:16) with a shout and a trumpet. In the meantime, He prepared a place for us through His death on the cross. 

That is why the disciples didn’t have to be troubled. That is why death does not send us into irretrievable despair. He has prepared a room for His bride. He will return to show us the way (which confuses a literal Thomas in 14:4). He wants directions, a map, a GPS turn-by-turn direction. Jesus responds by saying that he himself is the way: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (14:6).

This statement by Jesus is a promise, a word of comfort to his disciples. Jesus himself is all they need; there is no need to panic, no need to search desperately for a secret map. Jesus adds, “If you know me, you will know my Father also” (14:7a). The conditional phrase in Greek is a condition of fact, meaning that the condition is understood to be true: “If you know me (and you do), you will know my father also.” So that there can be no misunderstanding, Jesus adds, “From now on, you do know him and have seen him” (14:7b). 

In anxiety, despair, death, confusion or doubt, the relationship with Jesus is what centers our future. 

 On Sheep Without a Shepherd (reflections during a summer sabbatical)

And he said, “I saw all Israel scattered on the mountains, as sheep that have no shepherd. And the LORD said, ‘These have no master; let each return to his home in peace.’” 1 Kings 22:17

So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; Ezekiel 34:5

For the household gods utter nonsense, and the diviners see lies; they tell false dreams and give empty consolation. Therefore the people wander like sheep; they are afflicted for lack of a shepherd. Zechariah 10:2

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36

When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things. Mark 6:34

I have thought and prayed a lot about leadership. We had a series on Jesus as our shepherd, building on David's Psalm 23. (Hence the cartoon from Gary Larson). 

My church is in the process of seeking the leader who will shepherd the church following my retirement. My Bible reading plan has taken me through the Kings and the prophets who followed David and Solomon, but who preceded the Exile.  The well-known pattern of “good king/bad king” in the Southern Kingdom of Judah and the pattern of all bad kings in the Northern Kingdom of Israel is a referendum and judgment on poor leadership–defined by refusing to rely exclusively on God for making decisions.  One of the most poignant and prophetic statements in the book of Joshua is when God tells him to “be strong and courageous” by following God closely and faithfully (“do not turn to the right or to the left”). Then God adds the promise that He will always be with this leader of a nation. Only 200 years from the time when King David, the people were leaderless (1 Kings 22). And it would only get worse.

The honesty of the biblical record continues to astound me. Hosea’s prophecy summarized the poor leadership of the men who were supposed to be shepherds. By the time of his prophecy, the people had intellectual but not personal knowledge of God. They broke all of the 10 commandments, lacked faithfulness and love, worshiped false gods, and put their trust for the future of their nation into alliances with earthly powers. Hosea said, “they lived many days without king or prince” (3:4) – without any leader who would lead them back to God. Most of the prophets had a particularly harsh word for leaders and even other prophets who speak their own ideas, abuse their power and allow injustice. Micah said that the sun would set on such leaders (3:6). God has shown us what He requires in leadership–to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God (6:8).  

Only Hezekiah and Josiah led the people away from the worship of false gods and that is the point of my musings.  Hezekiah led Judah to numerous reforms. The historian spends 3 chapters (2 Chronicles 29-31 telling of the aggressive actions Hezekiah took to turn the nation back to Yahweh. Josiah was Hezekiah’s great grandson and 2 Chronicles 34-35 describes his aggressive reforms. Hezekiah and Josiah were not infallible. Both had pride issues, but by and large, they led Judah back to God.

The remarkable thing to me is what happened between these two kings.  If a generation is about 20 years, the reforms of Josiah are less than a century after the reforms of Hezekiah.  It seems incredible how fast the nation becomes corrupt.  Josiah’s actions included rediscovering God’s Word, smashing the altars and idols to pagan gods, getting rid of anything in the temple that didn’t honor Yahweh, eliminating prostitution in the temple, and even destroyed altars that the people had built to sacrifice their own children by fire.  When leaders drift away from brokenness, dependence, humility, and attention to God’s word, the people follow. And it can happen in an instant. 

And it can happen today.  As I write this (Summer 2024), our nation is in an election year, with an apparent choice between two very flawed leaders. Almost every day, another report comes of a pastor or religious leader who has committed some immoral act. Like Josiah having to reckon with a shortage of priests (2 Chronicles 29:34), we have a shortage of pastors. Barna research found that well over half of pastors are questioning their call to ministry. When we pastors/leaders turn our heads to the right or to the left from following our Good Shepherd, we become poor shepherds to people. Disappointment, disillusionment, church hurt, and even abuse follow and the people who follow us abandon their faith.  Sadly, many leave not because they feel like God let them down, but because a human has failed spiritually.  

In the New Testament, Jesus looks to the eternal application.  He is fond of the relationship between sheep and shepherds (John 10) as a way of describing the dependence on the shepherd by the sheep. He is the Good Shepherd, the ultimate leader, motivated by compassion (Matthew 9:36). The Good Shepherd is our leader and our teacher (Mark 6:34). Paul understood it when he confidently said to the church “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). 

I am flawed.  I look back on the 66 and a half years of my life and see the many times I have turned to the right or to the left. Gratefully, the honest of the Bible also tells of the failings of even a man as great as King David.  I have been given a privilege of leadership. But I renew my awareness that all of my strength and courage and wisdom and understanding and discernment comes from following closely behind the Good Shepherd.

On Dolphins and Reassurance

 

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 

                1 Timothy 6:17-18

It's been awhile since I visited my blog and much has happened. As I write, it is May of 2024 and the past 12 months have been eventful. I have had a few of what I call "spirit disrupters," those events or relationships that make you go to God and say, "what is going on right now?" 

I intended to retire in 2023, but I postponed retirement in order to guide my church through the changes in the Southern Baptist Convention that may result in DBC (and me as well) not being Southern Baptist. Spirit disrupter.  In July of 2023, I needed an ablation to return my afibbing heart back to rhythm. Spirit disrupter.  In August of 2023, my son Aaron died tragically from a drug overdose. Major spirit disrupter. In May of 2024, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Spirit disrupter.  

I may write on some of those things as retirement (eventually) will give me more time to reflect. This morning, however, God spoke to my disrupted spirit. Again. Like he did four and a half decades ago.  Through a dolphin.

In summer 1980, I was the youth minister at the Rowland Hills Baptist Church in Georgia. I was at camp with my youth group at St. Simons Island.  I was freshly graduated from college with a business degree that I expected would allow me to travel the world, make lots of money, and volunteer my leftover time to God and His church. 

God had thrown a wrench into my plans in that I didn't have any peace with anything but ministry. I had been a little frustrated in my job search -- no "real" offers had come my way. I was a 22 year old part-time youth minister and somehow a group of parents had entrusted me to drive a school bus with their kids down to the Atlantic coast. One morning, I was having a quiet time with my spirit completely disrupted. I knew what I wanted to do and I was beginning to realize what I was called to do. In my perception, one (business) involved prosperity and the other (ministry) involved poverty. 

I was reading in 1 Timothy 6 and I came across these two verses: 

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 

                1 Timothy 6:17-18

About the time I finished reading them, I looked up and saw a bottlenose dolphin roll over in the marsh. It was a simple thing, but a confirmation that God had riches I knew nothing about. Nobody else saw the dolphin.  No cell phone existed to capture the picture. It was just for me to enjoy. God provides things for our enjoyment, sometimes to remind us of His greatness, His playfulness, His intimate understanding of who we are. It confirmed my calling to ministry.

Flash forward to 2024. I am again on the Atlantic coast, this time to officiate a wedding in Fernandina Beach, Florida. A family in our church has allowed me to stay in their home and the back of the house is on the marsh. I walked out this morning for some prayer time and to again give all my spirit disrupters to God. I glanced up and guess what? A bottlenose dolphin rolling over in the marsh. Nobody to see it but me. Unusual in such shallow water. But there for me to richly enjoy. There to confirm that I am still called to ministry and despite a really hard year, God still guards my heart.

Thank you Father for using a dolphin to again remind me that You've got this.