On Viruses and Dependence

Again, I have neglected my blog.  I last wrote while riding on a train with the amazing senior adults at Dunwoody Baptist Church. I have been blessed to be a senior pastor for almost 5 years now--6 if you count the interim year before I became full time.  It seems like I have had the experience of several challenges that have allowed me to grow as a Pastor and  leader. And the lessons have not always been easy. That is why I write today.

A national health crisis called COVID-19 or the Coronavirus has caused us to move our church services exclusively to livestreaming, our meetings to virtual ones, and our conversations to be via telephone or computer. We are isolated, by choice, caution and decree. We have time to think and write and read since we are not spending time in the car, not going to offices, not going much of anywhere.

So I am learning through this. Today, I reflect on some of what I have learned as a pastor after more than two decades as a seminary professor.  I have learned I didn't have as much patience as I thought. My wife warned me. I have learned (again) that I don't really lean towards strong mercy gifts. I have learned that I do not have as many sermon ideas as I thought. I have learned that I thought I knew a lot, but I really don't know much about being a pastor.  And I am learning that I know a lot about God, but I am discovering the joy of knowing Him better.

Maybe I am just getting older, but as various aches and pains remind me of my mortality and vulnerability, I find myself longing for a word. I find words in Scripture. I am finding them in a devotional book by Paul Tripp called New Morning Mercies. I am finding words in talks with my beloved bride (who is a prophetic truth-teller, especially when I am whining). I am finding wisdom in conversations with friends and church members and my brother.

And now a virus in our nation and around the world is causing all of us to assess and reassess what is important. We are staying in our homes, working remotely, keeping close to each other and trying to find ways to communicate. To connect. To create ways to spend time that do not involve endless vegetation in front of whatever streaming service is providing old content.

So I decided to write. God is teaching me dependence and humility all over again. In so many seasons of my life, I confess that I am almost like the cycle we see in the book of Judges in the Bible. People would drift far from God, sometimes subtly and sometimes drastically. They would suffer from whatever their decisions had brought on, or God would send a reminder of their human weakness. A judge or a prophet would bring a word from God, the people would repent of their pride and God would forgive them and help them rebuild their broken lives.

Living through hurricane Katrina, I trusted and wept and depended. Then I rebuilt and began to unintentionally distance myself from the Hand and Voice and Provision of God. Time seems at a premium in crisis, though with Katrina and now COVID-19, I know that is not true. I make time for what I want to do, what I need to do and what I think is urgent.

Today, I confess that my time with God is urgent. My declaration of my sin, my pride, my inability to fix things that only God can fix.  I am learning dependence. Let me know if I can pray for you in that journey as well.